Conflict is an unavoidable part of life, whether at work, at home, or within our communities. Most of us instinctively try to avoid it, yet when handled well, conflict becomes a catalyst for growth, understanding, and better outcomes.
As Mahatma Gandhi observed, "Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it."
I understand this well from my own experience. As a psychologist, mediator, investigator, coach, and Senior Consultant with GYST, my career has taken me from the front lines of high-stakes hostage negotiations to the boardrooms of Australian organisations, always with one goal in mind: to help people navigate conflict with clarity, calm, and compassion.
Before joining the Queensland Police Service, I was already a registered psychologist. A chance nomination to a Police Negotiators Course reshaped my path, setting me on an over decade-long journey through the world of crisis negotiation. As a Negotiator Team Leader and later a Counter-Terrorist Qualified Negotiator and Negotiator Team Leader, I learned that success in the most volatile situations depended on connection, patience, and trust.
After leaving the police, I deepened my expertise at Harvard's Executive Education Program in Negotiation and Strategic Decision-Making. Today, I apply those same principles to facilitation, workplace investigations, mediations, and leadership coaching, helping organisations transform conflict into collaboration.
My experiences taught me that conflict, when addressed early and respectfully, strengthens relationships and teams. The real danger isn't disagreement, it’s avoidance.
When leaders shy away from tension, small issues grow into bigger ones, eroding trust and psychological safety.
As I often say, "Working through conflict can transform people's work lives and make teams stronger. But it doesn't come without effort, reflection, and action."
From negotiating life-and-death situations to managing workplace dynamics, the lessons I've learned remain remarkably consistent. Here are three ways leaders can apply them today:
In his police days, Kieran often led a team of negotiators through intense and unpredictable situations. Each person had a role, lead negotiator, secondary negotiator, intelligence gatherer, team leader, and success relied on everyone understanding their lane. When everyone owned their role, the whole team succeeded. That same principle applies in workplaces.
I've seen leaders build trust when they respect diverse contributions, share ownership, and frame challenges as 'us working together' rather than 'me versus you.' As I often note, "The breakthrough often came when I shifted the dynamic from 'you and me' to 'we.'"
Throughout my career, I've seen that clarity of thought and compassion for people must go hand in hand. Technical skill is valuable, but it's humanity that resolves conflict and builds lasting trust.
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart."
So, here's a question for leaders to reflect on:
"When conflict next appears, will you focus on winning or on understanding?"
Kieran Plasto is a psychologist, mediator, and former police negotiator and Detective who helps leaders navigate complex conversations with clarity, compassion, and humanity. His work focuses on resolving conflict and building healthier, more resilient workplace cultures.